Saving Terrence and Philip
by disturbedinside
Summary: Rated PG not recommented for younger children. This is my first fan fic so don't flame me. It's about me, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, and Stan saving Terrance and Phillip. This is not a rip off of the South Park movie, aight. On with the story.


Saving Terrence and Philip

South Park: Saving Terrence and Philip 

It is a quiet, dark evening in the South Park neighborhood. Dogs are barking, crickets are chirping and the moon shone. At the corner of the street, there is a the Firehouse nightclub where two Canadian comedians, Terrence and Philip are performing. They're just about wrapping up their performance which the audience thought excellent. 

"Well that's all we have for tonight." said Terrence.  
"Good night everyone. See you soon." waved Philip and they left. As they left the stage, there was a cloud of smoke coming out of nowhere. Out came Satan, a red guy who has a horn and a tail like an arrow. Another person came out is Saddam Hussein, a ruler of Iraq who died just two years ago. Both of them are like a tag team. 

"Greetings, Terrence and Philip," greeted Satan. "You are coming with us." "Why?" asked Terrence.  
"Be quiet or else we'll kill you." stated Saddam.  
"Oh no Terrence," cried Philip. "We're done for." Satan grabbed Terrence and Philip, dropping a note and then they vanished.  


Eric Cartman is eating cheesy poofs and watching cartoons until breaking news came in.  
"Breaking news," reported the anchor. "Two Canadian comedians Terrence and Philip disappeared after their performance in a nightclub. There are no witnesses to this case and there are no suspects on hold. Police were looking for clues and they found a piece a paper and a map of where Terrence and Philip are being held."  
"Oh no, " lamented Cartman. "Terrence and Philip are gone!"  
"The map appear to be Eden's forest. Eden's forest is the scariest place in South Park so if you're braved enough to find Terrence and Philip, good luck."  
"Well," Cartman started. "Looks like I have to call Kyle, Kenny, and Stan over and we'll go and see Michelle. She can help us find Terrence and Philip." So Cartman called his friends up and they meet him at his house and they all went to the police station where I work. 

I work as a young detective at the police office. Unlike Shelby Woo, I get to help police find criminals who are still at large. This is a part time job because I am a sophomore here at South Park High School. I was reading the book called Lord Of the Flies, and as I read, four young boys, who are in the fourth grade came into my office. They looked gloomy so I assumed something is wrong.   
"Hey guys." I greeted. "What's happening?"  
"Hello," muffled Kenny since he's wearing an orange anorak that covered his mouth.  
"Have you heard of Terrence and Philip?" asked Stan.  
"Why yes." I said. "They're my favorite Canadian comedians. I heard that Terrence has a child with Celene Dion, no? So anything happen to them or something?"  
"They got kidnapped!" cried Kyle.  
"Oh my gosh!" I exclaimed. " Who the heck want with Terrence and Philip?"  
"Maybe Kyle's mom. She was once anti Canada." said Cartman. We all laughed except for Kyle who felt hurt.  
"Very funny, Cartman." said Kyle. "Even if my mom did, at least you didn't call her a bitch"  
"All right, whatever, you guys." I said. "I know about the Canadian thing but we have to save Terrence and Philip."  
"Right." The boys said together.  
"I have the map right here," I recalled and holding the map up so the boys can see it. "But it's not pretty detailed so who's got the detailed one?"  
"I got one." responded Cartman. He took out the map of Eden's forest and it was very detailed. "It's the scariest place here in South Park."  
"Oh god." I worried. "There's like a pack of wolves down here and..."  
"It's all right if you're not coming with us." Stan reassured.  
"No, no. I'll go. I can take that kind of challenge." I replied.  
"Hooray!" yelled all four boys. So the boys went home to prepare some supplies while I pack as well. 

Meanwhile in Eden's forest, Terrence and Philip were held prisoners in a cell. They look like they got arrested for a crime they didn't commit.   
"Terrence, this is worse than the war on Canada because of freedom of speech. We almost got killed in that war." lamented Philip.  
"I know Philip, I know." reassured Terrence. "It sure stinks in here."  
"It's not me Terrence, it smells like rotten eggs here."   
Next to the cell is Satan's headquarters in Eden's forest. Satan is doing some work and some plans on taking over the world.   
"Haha," scoffed Satan. " Soon after these two Canadians are killed, I will be the ruler of the whole entire universe. Muhahahahahah!"  
"Hey Satan," said Saddam who came into Satan's headquarters. "What 'ja doing?"  
"I have a plan, Suddam." stated Satan. "If the citizens of South Park don't find Terrence and Philip by tomorrow, we will kill them and we rule the world."  
"Ah, good plan, Satan." agreed Saddam. They both laugh at their plan and they believe that it's going to work. 

Back at my office, I already packed my stuff with food, water, clothing, a flashlight in case it gets dark, and the two maps that I have. Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny just came in with their backpacks and they seemed ready.  
"OK, is everyone ready?" I asked.  
"We are all ready." replied Kyle.  
"OK then, let's go." 

We took a taxi to Eden's forest which is dark, and spooky but not too spooky like the haunted house. I sure hope that the wolves don't eat us or anything kills us. We begin walking through the woods.   
"Boy, it seems scary in here." worried Kyle.  
"Don't worry." muffled Kenny.  
"I hope so." lamented Kyle. I can hear the wind blowing towards our faces and also I can hear a howling sound coming towards us.  
"Cartman, what is that?" asked Stan who is scared now. Just then, a pack of wild and young wolves appeared in our way. We all screamed and we were about to run away.  
"Hold it," I begin. " We can pass through these cubs."  
"What? Are you psycho? These cubs can eat us." cried Stan.  
"I maybe be psycho crazy but I know that we all should be brave." I remarked. "We should defeat these cubs without killing them." But just then, the cubs got to Kenny and he was attacked.  
"Help, help." muffled Kenny. But it was no use. Kenny was dead and his flesh was eaten by the cubs.  
"Oh my god," cried Stan. "They've killed Kenny!"  
"You bastards!" exclaimed Kyle.   
"I know what to do." Cartman said. He got out a bag of Cheetoes cheesy puffs and waving it to the cubs. "Here doggies. I got a snack for you. Here." He throw out the puffs and the cubs left.  
"Good thinking Cartman." I commented.  
"Yeah, it's the best thing I can do." replied Cartman. "But we have to hurry or we won't get Terrence and Philip."  
"Right. Let's go."  


Back at Satan's headquarters, Satan is looking at the window with his binoculars and saw that I, Stan, Cartman, and Kyle are walking towards the cell.  
"Ha, looks like they've made it. But they only have 45 minutes left until Terrence and Philip die. Muhahahaha." laughed Satan.  
"Hey Satan," said Saddam. "After we kill Terrence and Philip and rule the world, how about make me president of the USA?"  
"Saddam," restated Satan. "You're from Iraq. You have to be a US citizen to be president."  
"But we're ruling the world, aren't we?" replied Saddam. "Besides, we can kick George W. Bush's butt any day now."  
"OK then," reassured Satan. "You can be president of the US." "Wahoo. OK Where do I start?"  


"Ah, we're almost there." I said.  
"Whoo. I'm beat." sigh Cartman.  
"What's that over there?" asked Kyle.  
"Is that a porta potty?" asked Stan.  
"No," I replied. "It's some kind of a cell. You know the kind like the one in the old west."  
"Look." pointed Cartman. "There's no guard over there so we can rescue Terrence and Philip and go home."  
"OK." I reassured. We went to the cell and peaked through the keyhole to see if Terrence and Philip were dead. They're not and the door is stuck so it can't be opened.  
"That can't be good." worried Stan.  
"Wait," I said. "I have a paper clip in my backpack. Let me get it." So I got the paper clip in my bag and I took it out.  
"Hooray!" shouted the boys. I put the clip in the keyhole and turn it and it went opened. We see that Terrence and Philip are in chains.  
"All man," lamented Stan. "What now?"  
"Are you guys here to save us?" asked Terrence.   
"Yes." I replied as I unlocked the chains. "Who brought you to this place?"  
"Satan and some Hindu guy." replied Philip.  
"Satan and Saddam Hussein again?" cried Kyle.  
"I though I finished that guy." said Cartman.  
"Well you did and now these two tones are back." replied Stan.   
"OK," I reassured. "I got them free. Now let's go before these maniacs co......"  
Suddenly a cloud came out of nowhere and out come Satan and Saddam.   
"So," started Satan. "You decided to free these two Canadian dorks."  
"They're not dorks, they're funny!" I yelled.  
"Who are you, little girl?" asked Suddam. Little girl? Just because I'm 5'0 doesn't mean that I'm little. I'm not a midget or anything. My face got red and I started to change.  
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING LITTLE GIRL, PUNK?" I yelled. Suddenly I begin feeling like Carrie who had telekinetic powers for special occasions.   
"Whoa!" exclaimed Kyle. "What's happening to her? That looks cool!"  
"I bet she can beat them back to hell." said Cartman cheerfully.  
"I bet she can beat these two because they are scary." cried Terrence.   
"Whoa, Satan." cried Sudan. "I'm getting scared right now. Destroy her." I use my telekinetic powers and my self defense skills to stop Satan and Saddam from getting to me. To finish them off, Suddam and Satan are getting blown away with my power.   
"Now, I want you to go back to hell where you came from." I said. "And be nice to all of us, you understand?"  
"Yes." said Satan who was helpless. I use my power and they were blown away.  
"Aaaahhhh. I want my mommy!" cried Suddam. "Aaaahhhh!"  
"You don't mess with me, punks." I said, turning back to normal and into my regular self again.  
"Wow!" exclaimed everyone.  
"How did you do that?" asked Stan.  
"It's my gift. But I shouldn't tell you because it's a secret." I replied.  


Back in South Park, in the coliseum, the mayor is going to give a speech out about the heroes who save Terrence and Philip.   
"I am now presenting these gold awards to Michelle, Kyle, Cartman, and Stan for their hard work and for helping us finding Terrence and Philip." called the mayor. The crowd cheered with excitement and me, Cartman, Stan, and Kyle are heroes. I walk to the podium to say a few words.  
"I just want to say thank you to the mayor and thank you to the police department for having me here. I have one lesson for you all: You can live with fear but fear can't let us do things that we wanted to do like take challenges. So if you're afraid to do something, don't be afraid. Just go out there and do it." The audience clapped their hands and the mayor whispered to my ear that I should announce the surprise act. "Oh yeah, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Canada's own, Terrence and Philip!" The audience clapped their hands as they walked in.  


As they performed their own jokes, I felt proud of myself. After that event, I became part time student, and a part time detective. Sometimes, I get interviewed by the news crew and sometimes I appear in America's Most Wanted TV show. Terrence and Philip are welcome to come to America and they gave me their e-mail address to keep in touch. Stan, Cartman, and Kyle can come to my office anytime to talk about their problems and my problems. As for Kenny, well, he's dead so there's no word on if he's in heaven or hell. Well live happily and peacefully in a quiet mountain town of South Park 

THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


End file.
